1 week down!!!
{ 7 entire days behind us }

the first few days were....well awful!  i couldn't even make dinner without crying. we ate dinner in front of the TV, which NEVER happens in this household. EVER. then skype came to the rescue. seeing him made all the diference in the world. the tears seemed to fade away, dinner was eaten at our kitchen table with the tv off...kinda back to "normal"

and my Colorado bestie came to the rescue. by form of kidnapping me. we were supposed to grab lunch and see a movie. the night before a text came and said..new plan, be ready at 9, i'm kidnapping you. what a perfect idea at a perfect time. we headed to denver and i was about to be foushee'd. kinda of an inside joke. we pulled up to the spa (which was called spa foushee) and she told me, you are about to get foushee'd. I wondered where my foushee was? and what they were going to do to my foushee?  we giggled. it's what we do best. She had planned for us to have a cloud 9 -by the beach-weightless pedicure.   Oh Em Ge!!     We sat in this perfect chair, covered with this perfect white feather down comforter, and it began. they tipped the chair back to perfect weightlessness and i was off to heaven. it was amazing and just what i needed. she knew that. Pam, i'm thankful i was foushee'd!! I will never forget it.

this week we  'as in my fellas and i'  had our first coming to jesus talk. hated to have this...but i figured we would probaly have to at some point. they know Grammy as a fun, we get to do whatever we want, get whatever we want, rules optional, vacation Grammy. i'm glad to get it out of the way the first week. she enjoys that vacation Grammy role too. but that is just not reality for the year. she knows that. they had spend some of their day, while i was at work, jumping over the couch, eating oranges at the coffee table, playing around in grammy's room, telling her 'no' a lot. they are lucky i didn't completely loose my sh*t. well, i kinda did. that's ok. it made an impact. i hope. We will see. crossing my fingers.


 i want to remember.....

that i am thankful for Skype, being foushee'd, coffee with friends (or chai tea), kiddos getting to skype, eating breakfast with daddy, no tears since wednesday, text messages that make me smile, so many huge hugs from my work buddies, and the trifecta of k9 getting along

that is all for now!!  more later.

It’s 2012

{a new year}

most people start their first BLOG of the new year with resolutions, maybe a reflection of the last year…I’m starting with neither. we started the New Year with a good bye. i thought i was prepared. we knew this day was coming. we talked about it. prepared the kids. i prepared myself. but not enough. it was pure torture saying good-bye to him. it was worse watching him say good-bye to our boys.
the countdown is torture in and of itself. it is like time is in slow motion, but speeds by at the same time. emotions run high. how can they not? having conversations about his wishes if ‘something were to happen to me’ is necessary, but too awful to imagine.
i’m not a writer. i prefer to tell my story and remember moments with photos. this way of documenting somehow seems necessary to me. to reflect. to keep record of my thoughts. a place for him to read about our day to day routine in more detail than i care to share on my favorite social network. for our family to look back and remember the good, bad and all the ‘in between’ moments.
















i am proud.

i am in love.

i am lucky.

i am thankful.

i am strong.

i am sad.

and

i am scared.

but, we will do this. my plan…stay busy…stay focused…and stay positive. i’m not a person who spends time worrying. i hoping that works in my favor. we are calling ourselves the D team. My mother-in-law, the fellas and I …..the deployment team. I hugged her the night he left and thanked her for being here with me to do this.

so, here we go. day #2 down….a lot more to go…our daddy jar of kisses will help us count down the days until mid-tour. the boys loved that they were able to eat their kiss from daddy after they brushed their teeth tonight. we will try to not make that a new habit. i haven’t found the perfect place to keep our jars of kisses. still looking for that spot. maybe i should take down Christmas and that would help me find that “perfect” place!!
~and to brent….home is just not home without you. I love you. and look forward to the next time i hear your voice. and davis much rather play plants vs. zombies with you. i suck.